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now hold on just a diddly-darn minute


anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “not to you”

(Source: whoredinarygirl, via 420weedofficial)

500,288 notes


"i shouldn’t eat this" I say as I shove it into my mouth

(via hotboyproblems)

136,782 notes

the morning ritual that every australian does in the morning


can i have you

just kidding you don’t have a choice get in the trunk

(via lubricates)

198,338 notes


hey are you a bank because you need to leave me a loan

(via feat)

239,117 notes


you can’t be a bisexual if you’ve never dated a girl. all bisexuals must submit proof of dating history before becoming fully licensed and must be registered to continue practicing bisexuality. please renew your licence every 5 years to avoid reclassification as hetero- or homosexual and to remain eligible for our annual picnic and raffle.

(via mariajaram)

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